#045 Hell Today

What the Hell today :

Beelzeboss

[Beelz] I am complete!

[Both] Fuck!

[Beelz]
Yes you are fucked, shit out of luck
Now I’m complete and my cock you will suck
This world will be mine and you’re first in line
You brought me the pick and now you shall both die!

[JB]
Wait! Wait! Wait!
You motherfucker
We challenge you to a rock off!
Give us one chance to rock your socks off

[Beelz]
Fuck, fuck, fuck
The demon code prevents me
From declining rock off challenge
What are your terms? What’s the catch?

[JB]
If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to hell.
And also you will have to pay our rents.

[Beelz] And what if I win?
[JB] Then you can take Kage back to hell…
[KG] What?
[JB] Trust me Kage, it’s the only way.
[KG] What the fuck are you talking about?
[JB] …to be your little bitch.

[Beelz]
Fine! Let the rock off begin!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I’m the devil, I love metal!
Check this riff, it’s fucking tasty
I’m the devil, I can do what I want,
Whatever I got I’m gonna flaunt,
There’s never been a rock off that I’ve ever lost
I can’t wait to take Kage back to hell
I’m gonna fill him with my hot demon gel
I’ll make him squeal like my scarlet pimpernel

[JB] No!
[one version:] C’mon Kage, bring the thunder.
[another version:] C’mon Kage, let’s fight his music, with our music
[KG]
There’s just no way that we can win,
That was a masterpiece.
[JB] Listen to me
[KG] He rocks too hard because he’s not a mortal man
[JB]
Goddamn it, Kage.
He gonna make you his sex slave,
You’re gonna gargle mayonnaise
[KG] No
[JB] Unless we bust a massive monster mammoth jam.
[KG] Dude, we’ve been through so much shit,
[JB] Deactivated lasers with my dick
[Both] Now it’s time to blow this fucker down!

[JB] C’mon, Kage, now it’s time to blow doors down
[KG] I hear you, Jables, now it’s time to blow doors down
[JB] Light up the stage ’cause it’s time for a showdown
[KG] We’ll bend you over then we’ll take you to Brown Town
[Both] Now we’ve got to blow this fucker down
[KG] He’s gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down
[JB] C’mon, Kage, ’cause it’s time to blow doors down
[KG] Oh, we’ll piledrive you, it’s time for the smackdown
[JB]
Hey anti-christ-er, Beelzeboss,
We know your weakness our rocket-sauce
We rock the casbah and blow your mind
We will defeat you for all mankind
You hold the scepter,
We hold the key
You are the devil,
We are the D [18x]

[Beelz]
You guys are fuckin’ lame.
Come on, Kage, you’re coming with me.
Taste my lightning, fucker!

[JB] No!

[Beelz]
Ow! Fuck!
My fuckin’ horn!
Oh no!

[JB]
From whence you came you shall remain,
Until you are complete again

[Beelz]
No!
Fuck you, Kage, and fuck you, Jables!
I’ll get you, Tenacious D!